Solo…. Please no.

The movie that nobody wanted is apparently still going ahead, as today’s trailer demonstrates. I know this is only a teaser, but Avengers: Infinity War was also a mere teaser, that got me to unbelievable hype levels. The Solo teaser did quite the opposite.

I’m a huge Star Wars fan, have been since I was first introduced to A New Hope at the tender age of seven. When Disney acquired the rights to make new films and we were informed that new saga episodes would be supplemented with “spin-off” films that could be from any timeline and would be completely standalone, I was very excited. We might get to see Old Republic stories be exported to the big screen, or see tales from brand new characters and explore the galaxy far, far away from new eyes, there’s even a debate that “prequel” era standalone films could have a place, as there’s a lot of missing years and adventures between those Episodes.

Instead, we were given Rogue One, which as it turned out was a solid entry to the Star Wars lore and on reflection, probably a good introduction to separate Star Wars tales as it was keeping a familiar tone and setting to ease audiences in. My expectation was that Disney would be brave and give us something different and unseen. I’ve got no issues with seeing returning characters, in fact, I would be first in line for an Obi-Wan spin-off.

Choosing Han Solo as the centerpiece of the next “story” was a huge mistake. It really just feels like Disney cashing in on a recognized name, for no real reason. I don’t really care how or why Han got the Falcon, nor how he met Chewie. Not everything needs explaining ad nauseam, it’s fine to save some mystery for characters. Not only that, but you simply can’t expect audiences to be fine with the casting choice of Alden Ehrenreich. He hasn’t got one-tenth the charisma or screen presence that Harrison Ford has and there simply is no replacing that iconic role.

The film has been rife with issues throughout, sacking directors, reshoots galore, script changes, you name it, it’s been absolute developmental hell. This should be the first obvious clue that this film will likely not reap the huge monetary success Disney crave, but now the biggest hint is the teaser trailer seen today.

I can’t stress how underwhelming it is. It begins and doesn’t even feel like Star Wars, just another cookie cutter sci-fi Hollywood paint by numbers film. We hear Alden’s voice and it’s almost laughable how bad it is. Completely off the mark, much like the rest of the beats exhibited in the short clip, nothing felt right at all. Oh, but here’s Chewie! Who cares. I mean really, who cares, it’s such a dull teaser, there’s absolutely no soul, no “woah” moments, nothing. It’s empty like I sincerely hope the cinemas will be when it’s released in order to send a message to Disney; we want something different. Explore this massive Universe, give us something new, please.